Our core trauma is relational trauma. And the cure is most deeply found in relationship

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Couples counselling approach is informed by Gottman, Kessler's survival strategies, attachment theory, Internal Family Systems, Hakomi Therapy, Diamond Approach, and Gestalt Therapy & Family Constellations. It represents a mindful, body-based, experiential, and trauma-informed process modeled on how external relationship dynamics reflect the internal patterns and survival strategies that have been active for good reason in the past, and now those strategies are preventing us from living the love we are and receiving the love we want.

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These frozen psychic time blocks are undercharged or overcharged inside some of the 7 centres of the body.

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These imbalances create distorted and painful dynamics encountered in relationship and can be experienced as a trauma response, where we may re-act from a frozen psychic time block.

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Bringing tracking skills, presence, awareness, curiosity, compassion mixed with body based experiments and inquiry,  we begin healing core survival strategies that are active in the unconscious will.

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This consciousness, this wisdom, will bring about healing in the relationship to self, the relationship to your partner, your family and colleagues, also to the physical body, restoring a healthy relational ecology. 

-- balancing freedom and connection, honoring cycles of differentiation, individuation and integration. Moving toward the interdependent partnership of two whole and separate individuals.

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The shared growth journey of two ever-changing people remains a lifelong process.

A gift of shared deepening love, trust, truth fulfilment and meaning. 

We can discover true nature through relationship as a spiritual practice. 

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Common issues for many couples include:

• Communication and negotiation,

• Personal and relational boundaries,

• Differentiation and individuation,

• Unmet needs,

• inllaws and family integration.

• Many couples seek therapy after an affair,

• At the point of breakup,

• When feeling neglected or smothered by a partner,

• When continuously triggered by a partner's behavior that doesn't seem to change,

• or when feeling emotionally numb, like living a ships passing in the night kind of thing.

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Trauma disturbs one's ability to connect and remain connected at an intimate level. Seemingly harmless words or actions can trigger a change in states and instant conflict.

There's an ongoing process of differentiation, recognizing what is, grieving what was, discerning whats true and integrating all of this into the present moment. 

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In therapy we begin with foundational concepts and somatic explorative practices based upon understanding the 5 core survival strategies that exist and manifest in our personalities and deeper layers of seeing and experiencing ourselves in the world. 

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The understandings of our patterns help us understand the primary and ancestral experiences that inform and influence the lens we perceive the world from and how we interact relate react or respond in relationship to self other and the world.

We also learn what engenders compassion and evolution and what blocks it.

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As you deepen and progress, we work with advanced somatic practices and processes that help us bring more compassion and care towards yourselves and our partner into our everyday lives.

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We want to learn how to be with each other in a way that will deepen and expand the relationship, give it the freedom, and the opportunity to develop its potential.

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Just as our soul can develop, our relationships can develop. A relationship between two people is a kind of soul, a type of field of consciousness; it can either be blurred to its true nature or it can be transparent to it.

Transparency and congruence of the individual and couple allows the luminosity of true will or true nature to manifest within the relationshipand through it. Such transparency requires both people to be sincere in their interaction, caring about what happens in and to the field.

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We move in the realms of- "I have the opportunity here to discover and experience your truth, and mine, and to learn how we can both develop further through the depth of our relationship. The more I come to know you, the more I come to know myself. "

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Each Person, each relationship, each interaction, is special is unique with special gifts preferences, woundings, truths etc, Each interaction is an opportunity for life to manifest its possibilities.

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If you feel yourself on the fence about the relationship, this is an opportunity to clarify your own needs.

 

If you want out, this may be a chance to honor yourself while at the same time giving yourself and your partner the gift of understanding the big picture and perhaps the ability to avoid getting stuck and repeating the same relationship again in the future.

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If you are here to repair the relationship, this is a chance to get to know yourself and your partner better -- to honor the strengths and pains of both partners.

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It is also an opportunity to learn ways to help one-another regulate and feel connected -- a team facing this world together.

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Establishing safety in counselling is primary.

If we can physically experience, in session, a felt sense of love and safety, the entire relationship changes. Defenses soften, or even collapse as the trauma begins to heal and allows upward spiral in connection strategies and intimacy. 

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For Couples Retreats 

• Our first meeting is a consultation with just you or both of you.

• Then, each of you will receive an intake form

• Each of you will have at minimum 2-3 preliminary Zoom sessions with me

• and at minimum 2 couples sessions with me, you and your partner on Zoom for couples online sessions

• You come for your in person retreat

• We have 2-3 + couples integration sessions on zoom post retreat.

We also can keep working individually as well.

Many of my clients, I have ongoing relationships with where we may work weekly, bi monthly, every few months, or when they feel they need support.

The sessions are powerful medicine journeys in themselves. 

 

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We customise the retreat for the two of you upon consultation. 

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Click here for services to learn more about session work.

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Retreats do not Include:

-Housing: You will be staying in an Air B&B close-by. Here are some suggestions for you in the link.

-Some of your meals will be your responsibility on the days you are on your own,  in your own sadhana in between the days we will be together.

-Transportation- You will need a car

-Rates do not include the preliminary and integration sessions. Those sessions you'll book via calendly or through this site and pay for those sessions upon checkout. 

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We recognize that, “In the same way that I care about my soul and how it is going to manifest, I care about the soul of my interaction with you.

-AH Haamas

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